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Showing content with the highest reputation since 01/24/2019 in Status Updates

  1. 3 points
    I come from a stupid family. My father worked in a bank. They caught him stealing pens.
  2. 2 points
    My doctor told me that I need to watch my drinking. So now I drink in front of a mirror.
  3. 1 point
  4. 1 point
    When I’m dead, I hope my doctors will look upon my grave and say “He paid off my mortgage.”
  5. 1 point
    I came from a rough neighborhood. Every time I closed a window I got somebody’s fingers.
  6. 1 point
    "Let's get out there and do it to them, before they do it to us."
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