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Flawless Technique / Half a $20 / Sharkfin / etc


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I plucked sweet laughing roses from the spray,

Wherewith the world wears on its warring way

I would not struggle with this spell, my lords

'Tis true, forgivenesss is fleeting as the relentless harpies bend mine branches yet again

But they who strive with thought can tell how vain, how sad mine strife.

I am as frayed as a sharkfin plectrum following an evening’s discourse of Byrd’s medleys.

Have I not suffered torments and despair,

Yea, all the agonies of living death in one day?

Have they not penned me far from all noblest intention, and anguished me with misery of dread,

Of dread most dreadful, lest, because my tongue refused with Judas-words to minister to their foul thirst for blood?

The hellish might of angered tyranny should wreak its threatened vengeance on mine mournful brow!

Have I not endured, with voice deliberate and rigid smile, the slings and arrows of sleepless vengeance?

I know not what afflicts this coterie, what cankers this parish?

Of falsehoods clustered round some unkind truth,

Perhaps some half-imagined trifling slight, or tis envy of my Deizel amplification and my marbled SS? These comforts and joys rendered unto me by Our God as rewards for mine dedication to the leasing of the back-hoe and the iron hand-cranked toilet serpent?

Newbies! Virgins! Here my cry!

Sorrowful thou now knowest why!

Woe throbbest within my breast, murmuring at mine lot, cursed as the spider in a storm-drain, or the hapless squire whom ill-rendered image of the crimson lute, in the tempestuous bazaar known as “eBay”.

With my waning strength I bid my mourning end,

And Memory in the tomb descend,

Again, dearest Mike_C.

Again, noblest greg_c.

But freely I hot tears now shed til weariness must sleep.

Oh, prithee slumber once again, rest, rest, oh! foolish heart,

Simon and Simon2 comfort me not in this darkest hour; Lo, and my wife is at my mother-in-law’s.

I shant darken this door again, my lords!

I will not vex thee with my misery!

I will not chide at thine inconstancy!

Mine eyes grow lustreless from tears and my breast bitter at these present days.

The hour of hope forever hath floated by and whelmed beneath a wide sea of distress.

I shall forever-more cleave mine left hand to the fretboard in the quiet fortress of my studio,

Toiling on with strength and skill and flawless technique

Asking not who the road have trod, or why thine knoweth not

I clad my sole progeny in the proud crest of the Spidered-man

Let them blame me, shall their words have such power thy soul to shake?

Adieu, HFC board. Adieu!

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Classic Rechts. I sit and chuckle fondly at the 'membrances of such days of mirth! :)

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I'll never forget this "modern classic" post from Mattson - complete with a photo of him (it appears) without pants:

JAZZFUSIONGUY:

I would like to apologize for the behavior of fellow board members. Many of the people here are talented and respected members of the music industry. Many well known names lurk behind the sunny and often funny monikers used as screen names for I-net consumption. As you know, sometimes there are topics that will press certain hot buttons with some members, which lead others to do things in their support or attack that they would not normally of themselves be wont to do. Therefore, there comes a time when a certain cooling off or settling of the pond waters takes place after any event that has so riled and unsettled people in the first place. A time for introspection. A time to thoroughly think things through and judge not only our own feelings on an issue, but those of the antagonist as well and a weighing of all accounts. You, no doubt yourself have come to such a conclusion and are even now weighing the value of your closed account with us, as you lick the moribund wounds of penile dysfunction. No doubt a very bitter taste has been left, for all to witness. As for us, we shall go on, somehow without you and your seven posts, forevermore wondering what dire wisdom we lost from such a fondue floozy as you. Orevoir, horse' de oreoderves (Spanish I think), and all that. Good luck to you and whatever std's may come your way in life. I bid you a fond farewell.

MattN.jpg

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I'll never forget this "modern classic" post from Mattson - complete with a photo of him (it appears) without pants:

JAZZFUSIONGUY:

I would like to apologize for the behavior of fellow board members. Many of the people here are talented and respected members of the music industry. Many well known names lurk behind the sunny and often funny monikers used as screen names for I-net consumption. As you know, sometimes there are topics that will press certain hot buttons with some members, which lead others to do things in their support or attack that they would not normally of themselves be wont to do. Therefore, there comes a time when a certain cooling off or settling of the pond waters takes place after any event that has so riled and unsettled people in the first place. A time for introspection. A time to thoroughly think things through and judge not only our own feelings on an issue, but those of the antagonist as well and a weighing of all accounts. You, no doubt yourself have come to such a conclusion and are even now weighing the value of your closed account with us, as you lick the moribund wounds of penile dysfunction. No doubt a very bitter taste has been left, for all to witness. As for us, we shall go on, somehow without you and your seven posts, forevermore wondering what dire wisdom we lost from such a fondue floozy as you. Orevoir, horse' de oreoderves (Spanish I think), and all that. Good luck to you and whatever std's may come your way in life. I bid you a fond farewell.

MattN.jpg

That post reordered my list of hero's! :)

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