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Dasein

New song in development - Do you guys think this is too slow? It's 92 BPM right now...

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Still writing and arranging this one -- is it too slow? I've lost my objectivity - it's 92 BPM right now...

 

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It doesn't sound too slow on the intro but when the first verse vocals come in it does sound too slow.  One idea to throw out is the increase the speed of the high-hat during the vocals.

Or be a real super star and change time signature! 😉

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I like it. It reminds me of a 70s AM hit.....and I mean that as a compliment. I love the rhythm guitar tone.

I don’t think it is too slow but I agree with Mathman’s suggestion of speeding up the hat to give the illusion of a tempo change. This will keep the song from plodding.

But I dig it. 

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Thanks guys -- I'm also going to change some of the timing on the vocals... I'm going to make the "baby" part of "come on baby" faster ... i think that slows it down too...

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Here's an out-take from when I was cutting solos.... using my 1984 Rockman x100 right into my interface here for the lead.... just classic 80's sound. Trying to get a musical/ early 80's inspired solo... but that Rockman sounds killer!!!

 

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Your solo tone does sound 80s.. I can hear that nasal undertone....in fact I was just dorking around with a Lovepedal Kanji into my Mesa TA15 Marshall side and got something similar but way brighter.

I admire your restraint on the solo. 

 Cannot wait to hear the mixed and mastered final product.

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22 minutes ago, Jakeboy said:

Your solo tone does sound 80s.. I can hear that nasal undertone....in fact I was just dorking around with a Lovepedal Kanji into my Mesa TA15 Marshall side and got something similar but way brighter.

I admire your restraint on the solo.  

 Cannot wait to hear the mixed and mastered final product.

Thanks -- I'm going for that late 70's early 80's lyrical lead style for this --- this was an out-take but there are several thematic things that I'll keep and try to build into the final version when I cut it... and I might have to dig out the cali for it (though I'm staying away from the whammy right now - I cut this on my Fender Lead III. I might even try doubling the solo (or triple tracking it) to see how that sounds.

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I liked the tone and the solo!! I’d try a harmony guitar part at the end to bring it back to the vocals!! 

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Ya Dutch - I like how you’re thinking there. The whole second half of the solo is a bit weak as it is - I’ll look at something a little more structured that will allow a nice double tracked / harmony finish.

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Posted (edited)

I think the beat is lumbering and gives the impression that the tempo is too slow.

The kick should be busier... with more accents. You are doing some snare accents every now and then... those snare accents have a '90s feel. I'd like to see some of those accents be kick-snare... where a fast accent kick falls where you currently have the accent snare hits... and then followed by a snare hit. This mimics your vocal cadence and should be your "hook". Maybe also include more of your existing accent snares as they are really well placed... accents are super important.

So at the end, the drums are just there and the hi hat has two patterns... one is straight and the other shuffles. When are the two patterns used in the song? My mind only notices the straight pattern.

Drums work better in the verses... it's the chorus and main riff where the kick needs to be busier.

The kick drum is where guitar players reveal that they are guitar players... real drummers use accent kicks constantly. Frequent and well placed accent kicks, can really liven up the beat a good bit.

Listen to the kicks on "Semi Charmed Life"... listen to the double kicks in 10cc's Not in Love. Bonham did great accents but his accents were a bit heavy handed... I think for what you need is a little more subtle but listen to what Bonham does with the kick drum in "Fool in the Rain" There are accents all over the place and the busy kick drum keeps the song's rhythm from lumbering along... the beat drives instead of shuffling.

Maybe a busier James Jamerson style bass line?

I feel like the vocals are straight time, the guitar is straight time, the rhythm and melody is straight time... it's the drums that should spice it up a bit.

Also hear a strummy acoustic part that blends with a hi hat that is a bit more busy and louder... can you get the hi hat to be a bit splashier at times? Might not need to buy up the bass at all if you can add the eighth note acoustic strumming and beef up the hi hat.

... AND for the chorus , maybe make the chord stabs bigger with a fat & dark bass that sort of sounds Moog-ish like you are stepping on Taurus pedals.

 

Edited by zenmindbeginner
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Cool tune! I think the beat could work as-is, but the vocals are kinda fighting it in a few places where they're a hair rushed and where each word is a little too punchy. I would maybe try a vocal take with smoother phrasing and a more patient, behind-the-beat feel. Think Beck:

 

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50 minutes ago, burningyen said:

Cool tune! I think the beat could work as-is, but the vocals are kinda fighting it in a few places where they're a hair rushed and where each word is a little too punchy. I would maybe try a vocal take with smoother phrasing and a more patient, behind-the-beat feel. Think Beck:

 

I didn’t notice the rushed vocals... so maybe the tempo is indeed simply too slow and that’s the only issue?

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Gonna really dig into these two comments @burningyen @zenmindbeginner Very much appreciated. I think you both hit the nail on the head — I’ll be rebuilding this starting with drums .....

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Listen to the Zen....he knows....,I am being completely  serious here. Trust his judgment.

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Shit, I forgot to mention that I think the song has some serious potential.

Mix sounds great, drums sound perfect, vocal tone is spot on (performance is good too), solo is good... very promising.

One easy trick that just might work is adding some sort of pulsing tremolo that ebbs and flows to build tension, develop the pay-off and establish the release.

That could trick the brain into thinking that the beat is faster than it really is.

Maybe even a different beat for the chorus? I could see the beat actually stopping for the chorus, where you bring in simple half note acoustic strums (exaggerate the strum). The drums could build back up halfway through the chorus with some busy fills bringing it back into the next verse or solo.

Or switch to a lower volume cross stick pattern that is a busier sort of shuffle for the chorus?

Song has mad potential!

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On 7/6/2019 at 10:01 AM, Dasein said:

Thanks guys -- I'm also going to change some of the timing on the vocals..

Just listened.

This is gentle advice, so please take it that way, but I agree this is what you really need.

Vocal style can make the difference here. There's no space in there. Every vocal line in that first verse is extremely legato, running all the way to the next line. it needs some space.

Try some phrasing differences. Release a little earlier for the breath at the end of the natural phrases.  C'mon baby (breath) you gotta believe (breath)  etc...   You leave the line legato for the phrase, just shortening the final word, and that's easy since they all last 4 beats. That makes the space at the end of the measure. ComeOnBaby  ' YouGottaBelieve  ' IWantYouToWalk  ' InTheGardenWithMe  '

Those breaks might give more rhythmic sense to the vocals, and they'll also make it a little easier to sing naturally and it won't sound so squared off, which is kind of where the "slow" feeling is coming in.

The second verse, by the way, is phrased closer to what I'm talking about and if you listen there it doesn't feel quite as laggy.

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All excellent suggestions and observations Moose. Very helpful and instructive.

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