Jump to content
Hamer Fan Club Message Center

I Guess I Spoke Too Soon: Out of the Band


Recommended Posts

                                                                    From what you stating here that would be a band I WOULDN'T want to be in!:(  You  want a group to be as good as it can be and that does take a lot of hard work on the part of all it's members. But music should be fun..................always! Sounds like the expectations went sideways on that gig. Remember you can't control how others act only how you do. Be the best that you can be..................sounds like your doing that and get over people who are toxic and want to make you feel like your the only desert on the table and not worth their time. Sure you can find another musical adventure that will be a much better and more enjoyable fit.:)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • Replies 55
  • Created
  • Last Reply

It should always be fun, Nate. Even if you suck, you should have fun at it. I mean, look at The Doors!

I'm guessing your singer is sub-40 and still holding to delusions of grandeur? You dodged a bullet, my friend. That would have been one miserable trip through hell (as a opposed to the pleasurable trip through hell) and life's too short for that sh!t.

There are better things ahead.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It’s never easy when you play with an established band.  Certainly not for a while.

Ive been gigging, on and off, since I was 14 and every band is different. I got a rude awakening jamming with some modern jazz players a month ago and felt all out of sorts.  Always half a step behind.

Don't give up.  It’s easy to say but it WILL get better.  Maybe they just weren’t the band for you?

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 2/29/2020 at 8:30 AM, hamerhead said:

It should always be fun, Nate. Even if you suck, you should have fun at it. I mean, look at The Doors!

I'm guessing your singer is sub-40 and still holding to delusions of grandeur? You dodged a bullet, my friend. That would have been one miserable trip through hell (as a opposed to the pleasurable trip through hell) and life's too short for that sh!t.

There are better things ahead.

Actually, he's pushing 60 and has been playing in geezer rock bands for almost 20 years now.

The other guys are all at least 60, too.  I would have been baby of the group. The old lead guitarist was even younger, early 40s I think.

 

I agree this would probably be more hassle than it's worth. I'm still going to be ready if they call, because the better I learn these songs, the better I can audition for another band.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 2/29/2020 at 6:30 AM, hamerhead said:

It should always be fun, Nate. Even if you suck, you should have fun at it. I mean, look at The Doors!

 

My choice for post of the year. And I like the doors

Link to comment
Share on other sites

This guy sounds like he made his mind up before the last practice. Extra douchey to try and make it only your fault. Have some stones. 
Personally I haven’t played with a full band since right after high school. One band member was an ultra-perfectionist. If you hit a sour note, went slightly off time or missed a harmonic he would stare holes right through your soul. I finally decided being in a band was like having four ex-girlfriends in the same room with you at the same time. Lost the flavor for it as it wasn’t fun anymore. If everyone is tense it will show in the final product. Who wants to listen to that? Play the field so to speak. It sounds like your a very fast learner. Move on. You’ll progress with other musicians too

Link to comment
Share on other sites

The last two failed tries that I had in 2019, all arranged everything for one guitar player and I had to not only learn the songs, but figure out how to fit in what space was open. 

The Gary's In Trouble band that went on for two years was the same way. "We need a second guitar player to fill out the sound, can you play the keyboard parts on the guitar?". Rehearsal #3 I brought a capo, a slide and said "Just play the song and we will see what fits".  Some of it did and some of it didn't. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 2/29/2020 at 7:30 AM, hamerhead said:

It should always be fun, Nate. Even if you suck, you should have fun at it. I mean, look at The Doors!

I'm guessing your singer is sub-40 and still holding to delusions of grandeur? You dodged a bullet, my friend. That would have been one miserable trip through hell (as a opposed to the pleasurable trip through hell) and life's too short for that sh!t.

There are better things ahead.

Or worse, 60 and think they are 20. The very last attempt in 2019 the bass player/singer wanted to go out with 4 sets 60 songs, no breaks. I dont' know about you, but I gotta to pee at some point. After that rehearsal the drummer was out. LOL 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

2 hours ago, bubs_42 said:

Or worse, 60 and think they are 20. The very last attempt in 2019 the bass player/singer wanted to go out with 4 sets 60 songs, no breaks. I dont' know about you, but I gotta to pee at some point. After that rehearsal the drummer was out. LOL 

Yeah, an old band I was in, the vocalist (note I didn't call him a singer)  would often announce after the first three songs that we were going to play straight until whatever time we were supposed to finish.   Then if any of us balked at it, he'd act like we were wimps etc.  I'd say, "Feel free to do something on your own while I take a break".  

Link to comment
Share on other sites

                                                          I like the "BAND" I get together with..................we play small venues, and we play when and if we want with minimal equipment to haul around as well. Drums, upright  Bass, Guitar [Now and then we may have a keyboard "GUEST"]..............we play Classic Instrumental Jazz. We are all retired so no other real work to consider after a late night performance. No axes to grind or issues or egos it's all about the music and having fun................no one has a "Agenda" other than that. Great guys,Great music,no Bullshit. What more can you want.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

28 minutes ago, ARM OF HAMER said:

                                                          I like the "BAND" I get together with..................we play small venues, and we play when and if we want with minimal equipment to haul around as well. Drums upright  Bass, Guitar [Now and then we may have a keyboard "GUEST"]..............we play Classic Instrumental Jazz. We are all retired so no other real work to consider after a late night performance. No axes to grind or issues or egos it's all about the music and having fun................no one has a "Agenda" other than that. Great guys,Great music,no Bullshit. What more can you want.

 

I wish I could play jazz.

 

I mean, I can memorize individual pieces, but I don't get it the way I get rock, blues, Motown and funk.

 

...actually, one of the more pleasant surprises of this whole process is discovering a love for old Stax songs, and learning those old Motown and funk songs more quickly than most.  Maybe it's cuz they're easier, but either way, I picked up those songs quickly.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Oh my fuckin god my head is gonna explode reading this stupid bs this guy fed you. I can state unequivocally that any cover band that is changing keys SUCKS hard and long. Dude you got lucky, the singer will be super drunk and in tears by 12:15. Wait and see

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I think my most memorable and actually recent rejection was Quote: Dude you nailed everything, and you make it look so easy, but... we think you’re to old and a little to overweight to be a fit, we want to keep a young stud image.” Unquote... they called me about 3 months later begging me to do a gig as the bass player!! I auditioned as a guitar/singer. The band leader left a message of desperation to do a weekend in a bar. I never called back!

Musician’s can really be weird!!!

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I keep checking back on this thread to see when Nathan receives the phone call saying, "Dude, our old guitar player is gone for good, and we can't find anybody who can learn the material fast enough, 'cuz we have a gig booked next weekend.  PLEEEEEZE join our band!!!!"

I'll be interested in his response, not to mention the recommended responses from all the other HFCers.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I’ve basically been rejected more than I’ve been accepted. It’s all politics, posturing and posing as far as I am concerned.

The age old endeavor of diminishing others so we in fact appear more grandiose is the low hanging fruit most humans reach for.

I don’t have time nor the charity for this bullshit.

i’m sorry that you had to deal with this kind of political garbage Nathan... tisn’t fair, tisn’t right and tisn’t proper.

My intuition is that you dodged a bullet.

i won’t go anywhere near a fucking “band” type experience. Fucking delusional ingrate egomaniacs... they can shove their pathetic low paying bar gigs straight up their asses.

of course on the other hand, I would avoid any organization that would have me as a member

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

41 minutes ago, zenmindbeginner said:

i won’t go anywhere near a fucking “band” type experience. Fucking delusional ingrate egomaniacs... they can shove their pathetic low paying bar gigs straight up their asses.

Dang, dude. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 2/28/2020 at 1:08 PM, Studio Custom said:

Sometimes people do you a favor, even when you don't  initially realize it.  

Given the band's material, I'd say this is accurate.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 3/1/2020 at 5:53 PM, Nathan of Brainfertilizer Fame said:

Actually, he's pushing 60 and has been playing in geezer rock bands for almost 20 years now.

Time isn't on his side.  Sounds like you played in my old band. Our 60 y/o singer knew it so he brings in these replacement drummers & guitar players only to dump them for not being able to learn 3 sets of difficult material in 6 weeks. I hung in there for many years because as you know, the only thing worse than gigging is not gigging. Big yoyo scene ultimately turning into

On 3/3/2020 at 10:33 AM, zenmindbeginner said:

It’s all politics, posturing and posing as far as I am concerned.

Exactly. 

I haven't gigged in almost a year.  Have much less stress in my life now and no longer have the expenses of playing in a band. My former bandmates are still out there in some form, struggling more than ever.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 2/28/2020 at 1:04 PM, Toadroller said:

You're patient and a hard worker.  After the second objection you'd proven to be baseless, I would have just asked why he didn't want me in the band.  

This.  Sometimes you ignore the "why" and just listen to the "no".

Other times it's worth asking "why"...  Not to try arguing your way into staying, but to learn what you could do differently next time.

Hang in there, be honest about where you could improve (that means don't go too easy, but also don't go too hard on yourself), fix what you can fix, and be even more ready for the next band.

 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

On 2/28/2020 at 10:29 PM, Nathan of Brainfertilizer Fame said:

yeah, that's what I'm doing.

I'll learn all 60 or so songs backwards and forwards.

 

If they call, I'll be ready. If they don't, I have material to audition for the next band.

If they call, you are busy.  Go to the gig and heckle the shit out of them.  😏

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.


×
×
  • Create New...