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Terrible Band Names


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On 9/30/2020 at 5:39 AM, Biz Prof said:

"Visualize St. Peter at the gates of heaven, learning forward in front of a gilded gate and clutching a long, golden staff.  Your teams would heretofore represent God's sentry of the portal to one's eternal reward.   Your teams would be the Elon Gated Peters

Very clever, but you could simplify it a bit, and make your joke less transparent by going with the Elon Gators.

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1 hour ago, HamerCustomEr said:

Very clever, but you could simplify it a bit, and make your joke less transparent by going with the Elon Gators.

Verily, verily. Alas, I needed that  input 20 years ago!  Still, you can't unsee the visual of a menacing looking, cartoon St. Peter holding a staff. 

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Yeah, some of the winners I've had to be in a room that they were suggested in:

 Deny the 9, Fire Breathing CoolAid (this is how the guy who suggested it spelled and spaced it),  Downhill Luge Brothers, Limited Wisdom (never pick a name that flat out tells people you're idiots),  Classic Wisdom (yeah, that dude was in love with Wisdom), Funky Trousers, Kickin Back.  Another guy would always use the word Steel though I can't remember anything specifically that he'd suggested, but then half the time he'd want to play BonJovi ballads.  Go figure.   

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unfortunately I was associated with bands named Needs Work and Idle Frets.  The first band was awful.  At practice we'd play something. It would be terrible.  Somebody would say "needs work" but instead of practicing, we'd move on to something else that also needed work.

That band morphed into Idle Frets.  I preferred Baldwin Grey and the Hot Flashes.  It got vetoed by our female sax player whose last name was Flash and she was probably at that time of life.  At that time our bass player was bald, and my beard was rapidly greying. 

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On 9/30/2020 at 12:20 AM, HamerCustomEr said:

Growing up in the band scene in Toronto, Canada, I always dreamed of playing the Horseshoe Tavern, the most prestigious bar gig in our country.  Anybody who has come out of Canada has played The 'Shoe,

What, no Sex Bob-Omb?  They're Canadian...

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Well, we kept trying to think of names and nothing worked.  316 for the road we lived on,  Sexton, cause the two brothers were named Sexton. LimpCrank,  and other various bad names.  Eventually, we just went by "Poop" since we sounded like shit.   So we would have people yelling "More Poop" when we played live.  And we made "albums" err cassette tapes with names like Royal Flush, Endangered Feces,  The Shits hits the Fan ( live album), U8ITUNAMEIT, and more.  We even had graffiti about the band.  We never we able to live past the name so we embraced it.

poopgrafittionwall.jpg2 Scan 40.jpgedparty31.jpg

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On 9/30/2020 at 2:02 PM, tommy p said:

 

 

There was a Van Halen tribute band in VA years ago who all wore dress shirts called Van Heusen.  We also had a Brown Sabbath.

Keyboard player in one of the bands I work with will wear one of their world tour shirts from time to time, on the back it just said Richmond and Charlottesville 😂

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The original post... I like 'Piston Mouth' for some reason.

There was a band in Florida in the 80's called 'Mr Resistor and the Incapacitators'. I've always liked that one.

I've long thought that 'Heavy Machine' would be a good name for a metal band.

Not enough coffee yet, I'll pipe in later.

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I once saw a pharmaceutical company promo coffee cup with the caption: "Metamucil:  Always a smooth move".  With a little letter juggling (to avoid trademark conflicts), it could be turned into "Meta Mu Seel And The Smoov Moovs".  Or something like that.   :rolleyes: :ph34r:

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2 hours ago, DaveH said:

I've long thought that 'Heavy Machine' would be a good name for a metal band.

Certainly, band names for the metal genre are the most fun to brainstorm. When I was 12-13 years old and saw This is Spinal Tap for the first time, I came up with "Cruel Dungeon" as a silly name for a fictitious metal band.  You know...as if the "Cruel" modifier was really necessary. 

On the topic of terrible names, I still think that some sub genres of metal music that should be renamed "sentence fragment metal" for the utterly ridiculous and melodramatic names the members choose, e.g., "Remains of the Day", "As I Lay Dying", "All That Remains", "Beyond the Embrace", "Before the Dawn", "Into Eternity", etc, etc. etc, ad infinitum.

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10 hours ago, Biz Prof said:

Certainly, band names for the metal genre are the most fun to brainstorm. When I was 12-13 years old and saw This is Spinal Tap for the first time, I came up with "Cruel Dungeon" as a silly name for a fictitious metal band.  You know...as if the "Cruel" modifier was really necessary. 

On the topic of terrible names, I still think that some sub genres of metal music that should be renamed "sentence fragment metal" for the utterly ridiculous and melodramatic names the members choose, e.g., "Remains of the Day", "As I Lay Dying", "All That Remains", "Beyond the Embrace", "Before the Dawn", "Into Eternity", etc, etc. etc, ad infinitum.

About 30 years ago, there was a metal festival around here that garnered a sizable article in the paper.  One of the bands had a name that has stuck with me ever since. Sharon Tate’s Baby.

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2 minutes ago, alantig said:

About 30 years ago, there was a metal festival around here that garnered a sizable article in the paper.  One of the bands had a name that has stuck with me ever since. Sharon Tate’s Baby.

Oh my.

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2 hours ago, alantig said:

About 30 years ago, there was a metal festival around here that garnered a sizable article in the paper.  One of the bands had a name that has stuck with me ever since. Sharon Tate’s Baby.

Fucking vile.

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