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Another open letter to my friends here at the HFC


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It's pretty awesome watching this unfold - you're never quite sure if there's a trainwreck ahead but then it's all good and you keep pulling for the next good day. And the next. And the next.

And you're doing it, man. It is impressive as hell to see. Fuck yeah!

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9 hours ago, hamerhead said:

It's pretty awesome watching this unfold - you're never quite sure if there's a trainwreck ahead but then it's all good and you keep pulling for the next good day. And the next. And the next.

And you're doing it, man. It is impressive as hell to see. Fuck yeah!

Thanks Hamerhead. The worst I think is behind me. Every now and then most days I get that little voice, "Man, I should get a beer." Usually because I'm lighting the grill or something in the air reminds me that I usually got a beer at a particular time or activity. But then I go look at my new ducks or harvest some quail eggs or something else and the notion pretty much goes as quick as it came. Some evenings I struggle a little. I've never watched a movie without a beer in hand and a smoke (weed) break so that's a new experience. If I feel that coming on I just pause as usual but go look at a few snakes for 10 minutes or so and everything is cool. We've had a deluge here for the past week that has kept me inside most of the days. That would usually call for a beer / bong fest but it hasn't been anything I couldn't sluff off by petting the dog or picking up a guitar. I'm also pleased with how my face isn't so puffy and I feel I'm packing on some muscle just from my body healing itself. I haven't been working out but my daily activities entail lifting 5-gallon buckets of water (40 lbs) and pitchforking compost piles, etc. that keep me in okay shape. 

Thanks for your encouragement. No trainwreck here yet and every time I think of grabbing a beer I do remember you guys and all your support and kind words. 

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13 hours ago, hamerhead said:

It's pretty awesome watching this unfold - you're never quite sure if there's a trainwreck ahead but then it's all good and you keep pulling for the next good day. And the next. And the next.

And you're doing it, man. It is impressive as hell to see. Fuck yeah!

^^^This right here!  You're reaping the benefits already!

 

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Oh man, I screwed up last night. I indulged myself. I didn't mean to. I went to Publix for bananas.

The cashier asked me if I found everything I was looking for. His name was Joel and probably 18. I told him I had a Son once named Joel. I don't think he caught it and said, "It's a good name." I agreed and he asked me again if I found everything I was looking for. I said, "I still haven't found what I'm looking for." He blinked at me puzzled by this as the lady behind me in line was laughing her ass off. I said, "Good God Man! I came up here for bananas and look at the crap I came away with."

I don't usually indulge but on a night of no drinking and on the 4th of July I ate half a bag of Lay's potato chips and at least a half tub of French Onion Dip over a movie called, "Bronson," featuring one of my favorites, Tom Hardy. Really strange dude who is apparently a celeb in Britain. Maybe @DBrazcould chime in and say if the movie is true to life.

I lived to regret that kind of feasting and went to bed around midnight and tossed and turned until I couldn't stand it no more and got up before 6 to the sound of my male quails calling for breakfast outside our bedroom window. 

At noon we took my parents to lunch which I managed to stick to 2 club sodas with lime. Another milestone being home and still sober after an afternoon with the folks and rockin' on about 4 hours sleep. I watched a few YouTube interviews with a guy named Sting who I find pretty inspirational. I don't care for all his catalogue but I do find a lot of his Jazz chord progressions interesting along with his lyrics. "Thorn, Jazz?" You say? Indeed.

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3 hours ago, RobB said:

Dang, they look DELICIOUS! Some green curry, coconut milk and jasmine rice…mmmmmm-BOY, dassum good eatin’!

LOL, I bought an extra drake and a few extra girls in case I lost a few in infancy. None were lost so they will be on the dinner table in time. I don't have the resources for a herd. These are Khaki Campbell ducks which were developed in Europe for egg laying. A single female can lay 250 eggs a year. My wife kept buying chicken eggs instead of eating our quail eggs I am producing because, "It's convenient." Duck eggs will be "convenient." I take lives here every day and I take it very seriously. It's the worst part of what I do here.

I didn't know you were the culinary type. I usually substitute coconut milk with coconut flakes. Something about the creamy taste / texture of coconut milk I haven't gotten used to, at least in the recipes I've tried. It may be my poor culinary skills though.    

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8 hours ago, Ting Ho Dung said:

None were lost so they will be on the dinner table in time.

Hopefully one of those 'turned loose' pythons doesn't find the pool in your back yard.

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1 hour ago, DaveH said:

Hopefully one of those 'turned loose' pythons doesn't find the pool in your back yard.

The only snakes I have to worry about is code enforcement.

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10 hours ago, Ting Ho Dung said:

I didn't know you were the culinary type. I usually substitute coconut milk with coconut flakes. Something about the creamy taste / texture of coconut milk I haven't gotten used to, at least in the recipes I've tried. It may be my poor culinary skills though.    

Hardly, LOL! Green curry duck is the only Thai dish I know how to make. I still cheat by buying pre-made curry paste. I substitute chicken (or pork) as decent duck meat is expensive these days.

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Now this is the sort of positive post I like to read.  Good on you Ting.  I've read that the hardest part of addiction is recognition that there is a problem.  Rome wasnt built in a day.  Small lasting steps matey.  Sending positive vibes.

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Last night I had a great night's sleep.

No BP meds for 35 days.

BP is 111 / 77 HR - 63

I made it to 30 days sober!

Actually it's 29 but that would have sounded stupid. :rolleyes:

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Cheers... er, congrats, Thorn!

Curious, was the dropping weed thing part of a goal to complete sobriety, or removing a contributing association to the drinking? Or are you just out of weed? 😄

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2 hours ago, soli'd said:

Cheers... er, congrats, Thorn!

Curious, was the dropping weed thing part of a goal to complete sobriety, or removing a contributing association to the drinking? Or are you just out of weed? 😄

Hey, thanks. 

I only smoked weed after I drank a few beers to get really buzzed. Initially it helped me cut down on the number of beers consumed each night. But slowly it just became a way to get more buzzed and the number of beers went back to 10 - 12 anyway after a few years.

I don't like weed by itself. I still have some but don't have any urge to smoke it without drinking. It did seem to help my depression and possibly aches and pains. So it was just another ingredient for my self medication. I would be afraid if I smoked it alone it would make me want to drink pretty badly so I am not going to do that. I haven't had an uncontrollable urge to drink since the physical dependencies have gone away. Every now and again I'll "remember" that it's time to drink or an activity will trigger a bit of an urge. But I just pour a glass of tea or pet the dog or something and that changes things enough I stop thinking about it. I had a pretty bad day wasted waiting on the gas company last week that made me frustrated enough that I wanted one pretty badly but I just fixed dinner and called it a night. The next day was brand new with no urges. 

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14 hours ago, mathman said:

congrats!  this is a great accomplishment.

 

Thanks Kirk. It was a long time overdue.

14 hours ago, Dasein said:

I'm really pleased for you Ting and as always cheering from afar!

Thanks my friend. 

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