Is it time to give up?

[HamerHokie]

I'd really like to thank eveyone for all the advice..on reading it all I forgot to add that:

I'm 33, married with 3 kids

I've been actively looking for about 4 years now..

I'm the moderator of the Help Wanted Forum for the Local All Ages Venue and a member of the Advisory Committee.

So I am involved with the local scene, but it's mostly the punk/emo/hardcore kids.

I am going to take the advice of just sitting and writing. It's not anything I've really done before, because I'm convinced I write better with other folks..Maybe it's time to re-evalute. Who knows..maybe I'll be the next Loverboy!!!

: D

Anyways, you guys are great.seriously. And if the schedule allows, I may end up at MWJ to cry in my beer...

BTW:

Caddie? where you at?

Again: Where do you live and what is keeping you there?

[MCChris]

I'd really like to thank eveyone for all the advice..on reading it all I forgot to add that:

I'm 33, married with 3 kids

I've been actively looking for about 4 years now..

I'm the moderator of the Help Wanted Forum for the Local All Ages Venue and a member of the Advisory Committee.

So I am involved with the local scene, but it's mostly the punk/emo/hardcore kids.

I am going to take the advice of just sitting and writing. It's not anything I've really done before, because I'm convinced I write better with other folks..Maybe it's time to re-evalute. Who knows..maybe I'll be the next Loverboy!!!

: D

Anyways, you guys are great.seriously. And if the schedule allows, I may end up at MWJ to cry in my beer...

BTW:

Caddie? where you at?

Again: Where do you live and what is keeping you there?

Did you miss the "married with 3 kids" part in the section you quoted?

[Abaco]

With the birth of our first son 7 months ago I thought my guitar future might be in question. He's not talking yet, not even crawling yet. But, when I walk into the living room with a guitar strapped on he'll even stop watching his Baby Einstein video, roll over and watch my hands as I practice - back and forth from right to left hand. He's really interested it in already - pretty funny - and makes me feel a little better about the guitar habit. But, I'm sure I'll love the soccer games, plays, track meets and all the other crap enough to put down the guitar sometimes. Nothing's better than family.

The gigging band thing IS tough. Spending 30 minutes late at night, tucked away in my guitar room trying to cop John Sykes licks - much simpler. Ironic.

[HamerHokie]

I'd really like to thank eveyone for all the advice..on reading it all I forgot to add that:

I'm 33, married with 3 kids

I've been actively looking for about 4 years now..

I'm the moderator of the Help Wanted Forum for the Local All Ages Venue and a member of the Advisory Committee.

So I am involved with the local scene, but it's mostly the punk/emo/hardcore kids.

I am going to take the advice of just sitting and writing. It's not anything I've really done before, because I'm convinced I write better with other folks..Maybe it's time to re-evalute. Who knows..maybe I'll be the next Loverboy!!!

: D

Anyways, you guys are great.seriously. And if the schedule allows, I may end up at MWJ to cry in my beer...

BTW:

Caddie? where you at?

Again: Where do you live and what is keeping you there?

Did you miss the "married with 3 kids" part in the section you quoted?

Nope. That tells me nothing about where he lives, nor what is keeping him there. I assumed it was career-related - you can move your family anywhere unless some career thing is keeping you and your wife there.

If something is keeping him in the area, he is pretty much stuck in a passive situation. He has to advertise what he wants to do, explicitly, and wait for someone to take the bait. Or more ideally, wait for an opening in an already-working project.

If he is not tied to the area, he can relocate to an area with more musical opportunities. Nashville? I don't know.

[MCChris]

Nope. That tells me nothing about where he lives, nor what is keeping him there.

For the where, click his user name. For the what, he'll have to tell you himself.

[kizanski]

If he is not tied to the area, he can relocate to an area with more musical opportunities. Nashville? I don't know.

So, he (an adult) should uproot his wife and three kids (and himself) for the prospective good of his hobby?

Sounds reasonable.

Nashville is a good suggestion, too. It's not like there are a lot of musicians there for him to compete with.

[sirDaniel]

or......you could give up like me. Get married, have kids and move on. It's not as bad as it sounds. I have a great wife with two beautiful kids and a nice house. I have a little basement studio that's soundproofed, and I play whenever I want. And sometimes, maybe I'll have a friend come over and we could jam. But that hardly happens anymore.

The days of playing out are long over. The days of going to band practice is long over too. As I tell my kids, Daddy's gotta make money for his honey's.

All I have left is my memories.

man.... I've heard this before......

[HamerHokie]

If he is not tied to the area, he can relocate to an area with more musical opportunities.  Nashville?  I don't know.

So, he (an adult) should uproot his wife and three kids (and himself) for the prospective good of his hobby?

Sounds reasonable.

Nashville is a good suggestion, too. It's not like there are a lot of musicians there for him to compete with.

It is reasonable, if nothing else is keeping you in the area.

There are a lot of people who's jobs move them around the country. They are used to relocating every 3-5 years anyway. For those people, relocating to an area with better musical opportunities is a viable option.

Which is why I asked the question.

Plus, I don't know where the best place for his kind of music would be, which is why I said 'I don't know.'

[kizanski]

It is reasonable, if nothing else is keeping you in the area.

There are a lot of people who's jobs move them around the country. They are used to relocating every 3-5 years anyway. For those people, relocating to an area with better musical opportunities is a viable option.

Which is why I asked the question.

Plus, I don't know where the best place for his kind of music would be, which is why I said 'I don't know.'

"Hello, Employee Relocation? Yes, I'd like to know if there are any other locations that you could relocate me to that would be more suitable for my guitar playing hobby.

Yes, and I will also need the names of surrounding schools for my three kids.

Oh, and my wife is going to need a new job as well.

Oh yea, and they're ALL going to need new friends. Can you line that all up for me?

I really need to get out playing with a band again.

I wanna get THE BAND back together!"

[HamerHokie]

It is reasonable, if nothing else is keeping you in the area.

There are a lot of people who's jobs move them around the country.  They are used to relocating every 3-5 years anyway.  For those people, relocating to an area with better musical opportunities is a viable option.

Which is why I asked the question.

Plus, I don't know where the best place for his kind of music would be, which is why I said 'I don't know.'

"Hello, Employee Relocation? Yes, I'd like to know if there are any other locations that you could relocate me to that would be more suitable for my guitar playing hobby.

Yes, and I will also need the names of surrounding schools for my three kids.

Oh, and my wife is going to need a new job as well.

Oh yea, and they're ALL going to need new friends. Can you line that all up for me?

I really need to get out playing with a band again.

I wanna get THE BAND back together!"

Wow, that's a whole mess of assumptions in one post. Good work, Kiz.

That's why we ask questions - to find out the poster's constraints.

[kizanski]

Wow, that's a whole mess of assumptions in one post. Good work, Kiz.

That's why we ask questions - to find out the poster's constraints.

Hey, everyone has a talent.

You should see me jump to conclusions!

[copper blue]

okay okay...here's the reason(s):

I have a great job working with the railroads for GM. I just passed my 5 year anniversary. I have 3 weeks of vacation time, and a bonus plan twice a year.

Plus I have the BEST boss I've ever had..

My wife is now in her 10th year working for a large cable company and among her many bennys is BC/BS insurance, free cable/i-net, and 5 weeks of vacation time.

My girls are watched by my mom( we pay her of course) and my wife's family is 10 minutes or less away. My son is an hour away and I get him every other weekend

So in the end, I technically could pull up stakes, cos we have friends and family in Nashville ( East Nashville, Columbia and Spring Hill), friends in Seattle and Portland as well. But the benefits of being here outweigh the desire to move...

BTW, I live in Flint Michigan..

[Abaco]

Excellent, Kiz. Funny chit.

Yeah...Nashville.... "Honey, I'm on a mission from God."

[HamerHokie]

okay okay...here's the reason(s):

I have a great job working with the railroads for GM. I just passed my 5 year anniversary. I have 3 weeks of vacation time, and a bonus plan twice a year.

Plus I have the BEST boss I've ever had..

My wife is now in her 10th year working for a large cable company and among her many bennys is BC/BS insurance, free cable/i-net, and 5 weeks of vacation time.

My girls are watched by my mom( we pay her of course) and my wife's family is 10 minutes or less away. My son is an hour away and I get him every other weekend

So in the end, I technically could pull up stakes, cos we have friends and family in Nashville ( East Nashville, Columbia and Spring Hill), friends in Seattle and Portland as well. But the benefits of being here outweigh the desire to move...

BTW, I live in Flint Michigan..

Thanks for responding. Sounds like that your are indelibly tied to the area.

In that case I can offer a few suggestions:

1. Determine how far outside of Flint you are willing to go to make your project happen. I drive an hour for reheasals, that's not too burdensome but I know folks who are 4-5 hours away from their projects (needless to say, these folks don't rehearse, they just do gigs).

2. As others have said, network network network. I got my current band from a post on a musician's website. But using the same website, we had to deal with dozens of unqualified drummers and keyboardists, so I'd have to say that bulletin boards are too much of a crapshoot. Open mic nights are a better source.

3. You could always hold out to join an already established project. The downside to that is waiting for the right opportunity. The upside is, when it happens you don't have to worry about bookings, etc.

I don't think you should give up, but I also don't think you should fret about this to the point that it upsets you. Just keep plugging away.

[Craig S]

Boy I hear ya'. My last band of 8 yrs. finally ended and I thought "This is it, I'm done" I've mellowed out and am just looking for the right thing to pop up.... Just relax and let it come to you, something will turn up.. Every band was my last and that's been for the last 15 years...