kizanski

There's just too much to explain here. @Jeff R serenades those in attendance for the Oswald prison transfer.

@ToneJunkee, @Mobster and @Rechts at NAMM a very long time ago. The hair flip. No one made connections like Ed Rechts.

The file name on this one is "KIZwaxesSpidey.jpg"

He once put together a website. That was the landing page. That was the whole site, actually. Rechts and Joe were often at odds. So, of course, I P-shopped them together. Ed Rechts' Hamer ad:

“I hope I can make it to then,” he said to me. He was referring to his birthday. Not to be an alarmist or anything, but that’s only 4 days from now. James “Jay” Toland, AKA: Ed Rechts is dying of Stage 4 cancer, but his thoughts are with his virtual family. A family from which he has been expelled. Don’t get me wrong – he earned it. He earned it several times as a matter of fact, during his tenure on the HFC, but we’ve come to accept that as part of his charm. “If I go, write a good tribute to me on the HFC, will you? I would love the guys to laugh again.” I’ve been asked to do similar tributes before. When my friend, Dave, one of my closest friends since high school, attended my brother’s memorial service and was touched by my eulogy, he took me aside afterwards and asked me, “When I die, will you give my eulogy?” At first, I thought it was one of his typical expressions of dark humor, but when I half chuckled, I noticed that he wasn't. Dave is a Firefighter, so this eulogy could come at any time. As luck would have it, that was 13 years ago. Hopefully, I won’t have to put any (more) thought to it for another 20 or 30 years, but suffice it to say it is something that I take very seriously. Probably more so than anything in my life. So, when Rechts asked that of me, he may have been just expecting I post a few of our old Photoshopped images that we traded back and forth, playfully busting each other’s virtual balls. But this is a lot more personal to me. This is literally a dying man’s last wishes. That this would be entrusted to me is nothing to treat lightly. JeffR broke the news to me several weeks ago of Rechts’ terminal disease, but in the periodic chats I had with Rechts since then, I didn’t let on that I knew. It’s his story to tell and he would tell me when he was ready. Yesterday was the day. He told me that he’s in a great deal of pain, but he’s keeping himself “semi-jacked on opiates.” “I sure would be,” I said, “And not ‘semi’.” “I'm doing all I can to manage this body pain,” he said. “My guts feel like they are eating itself. I can feel it.” We’ve all read tributes. Threads about someone we all knew having passed away, and all of the outpouring of affection that follows. We feel terrible and we say what we feel in our hearts, especially if we knew them well or for a long time. What I would have really loved back in June of 2012 was for my brother to hear that eulogy and all of the love that everyone in attendance relayed to me about him. This is why I’m writing Rechts’ tribute Now. Now, when he can still read it. (Rest assured, he still visits the HFC daily). I have a lot to say about Jay, but I will attempt to edit myself (somewhat) out of consideration for the reader. Otherwise, I could go on for hours. In one of our earliest conversations, Jay and I were talking about our screen names and, as a big Top Gun fan, he knew exactly from where mine came. “GET ON IT, KIZANSKI!’ he texted in CAPS. But where did “Ed Rechts” come from? I had to know. Jay is a brilliant, well-read man, so he offered, “Do you know your Sophocles?” “Huh?” I responded, (the obvious reply of someone not well-read). “Oedipus Rex!” he shouted. “The original motherfucker!” If there was ever a perfect screen name; brilliant, funny, clever, and, well, accurate. Over the years, Jay and I would talk on the phone, email, text, etc., but I never met him in person. Funny how you can feel close to someone you’ve never technically met. But in the closeness, there was a distance as well. Months would go by without a word from him, but then you’ll hear from him and it’s as if you spoke yesterday, and you’re back to poking fun of this or that situation. No time had passed after all. Back in the glory days of the HFC, often likened to the wild west, Rechts reigned supreme. That’s not hyperbole. His posts were that of legend, ranging from biting wit to elegant prose, always making his point, be it sophomoric or a genuine response to someone requesting information. He once even wrote a lengthy post (about what I can’t remember) in the voice of a character from the Victorian era. It was both brilliant and twisted. He could obviously trade barbs with anyone, but the last thing you wanted to do was get in his crosshairs. There was no worse fate for someone that had motivated him to fire up his Adobe Photoshop. In fact I happen to know that there were times when he found himself without a working install of Photoshop, so he would slay someone with Microsoft Paint. When you’ve been parodied by someone with MS Paint, you really got on their bad side. Right now, many of you HFC OGs like myself are thinking of an unfortunate former HFC-er who went by “AnDy” (and who Rechts dubbed “pAnZy”). And you’d be right. When epic battles (and eventual beatdowns) are discussed, this was the blueprint. This was example to which all other would be compared. To this day, he’s still proud of it, and I don’t blame him. So, there are tons of Photoshopped images of and by Rechts in my archives. Some of them are of me in compromising situations, and I did my best to retaliate – all in good fun – but I knew going in that I was overmatched and outgunned. The whole while I was laughing at him and at myself. At the heart of it he was an inspiration to me learning, not only how to create some silly memes and images with someone’s likeness, but how to laugh at myself. It would be a crime if he left us without knowing that. I’ll post a few of these images and I’ll provide some context where I can when it’s not obvious. Many of you have some, too. Please post them. He should laugh too. Jay's not Photoshopped favorite picture of himself from BITD. After we chatted for a while, he said that he was tired and he needed to lie down. "I'm kinda resigned to this. Unless there's a miracle." I guess we have this to look forward to come Christmas time. He made that one - not me! Humor never dies.

Pretty sure. Yeah.

That's a feather for a T-51.

First of all, where have you been? I've been cranky for a lot longer than I've been old. Second, that's the comment that clued you in to my crankiness?

Just another $3000 to go...

Well, sure. Along with The Who and Jimi.

Google what happened on this day in 1994 and you tell me if there's OJ in Heaven.

Not nearly as offended as music fans for having had to hear that shit song.

One of the baddest MFs ever.

Same here. Blue over red? Mystery switch? If the first owner doesn't know, and the seller doesn't know... $1500 would be my ceiling for this one. And for someone who made it an almost weekly habit to buy Sustain Block Specials for $350, it would still be difficult.

@Crywolf - which number Korina Standards are they?

Even more difficult without pictures.

This \/

@Crywolf - Don't get put off by this. @Hbom was making a joke (and a very stealthy one which few others seem to have gotten - it requires Math) directed at some of us longer standing members of the board. Obviously, 33 guitars would bring in much more than that. Post pictures and an email address and you will be the most popular person on this board for at least a few weeks. Good luck!

I’ve been young and God knows I’ve been stupid, but I’ve never been that young and stupid. In fact, when I first saw that album cover, I was both, and even then I cringed.

Almost as disturbing as the original Virgin Killers album cover.

That's a beautiful piece of wood.