Thorn, I just read your blog in its entirety. Words fail me. Cliches are not adequate. I am deeply touched to say the least. I pray that your family continues to find the strength to carry on and that the pain lessens over time. You should be very proud, Joel sounds like he was a great young man and he will always live in your heart. I am very sorry for your loss. I was glad to read towards the end of your notes that you had a brief feeling of joy, I hope they become more frequent. I want to thank you for sharing this, it is a valuable lesson in family, love, and so many other things we can take for granted too easily. God bless you. I am a stranger but actually no longer feel like one. Feel free to contact me anytime if I can help or listen or anything at all. Your writings I think will help me to be a better father..and thank you for that. Take care of yourself your son wants you to. Pete