One For The Parents, Monitoring Kids Online Activity?

[Stike]

For those that do what do you use? I had a recent violation of the rules that resulted in the kids loosing their iPod Touches for awhile. Not that I'm really interested in spying on everything they look at but I would like them to know that Mom and Dad can drop in at anytime and see if they've been anywhere they shouldn't be.

[sixesandsevens]

I'm not there quite yet, but opendns has a service you can use. We use it because for a while Verizon's name servers were much slower, but once the kids start exploring more, I'll definitely look into the parental controls.

http://www.opendns.com/home-solutions/parental-controls/

[mathman]

I give them email addresses from my provider and give them passwords that I know and I have their email accounts download to my computer. I setup their Facebook accounts so that they have the highest possible level of privacy which with face book gets less and less. Some sites I don't allow them to have accounts on. I can remotely access or control their computer at any time if I wish.

That said I don't follow their every move. Kids need to learn to break free and be themselves. They need to learn to control their own boundaries. I try to increase their level of freedom as they grow older. I talk to them to remind them that I am always able to watch and see but I also don't make them feel as if I am watching their every move.

Stepping outside of boundaries is part of growing up. They have to learn to control themselves. I don't want to give them enough rope to hang themselves but just enough to pull themselves backup if they stumble.

It's a tightrope. I want them to make small enough mistakes to learn but not make such large mistakes that they suffer from them for a lifetime.

I spend the time teaching and showing them how to protect themselves and to know that boundaries have to be recognized and to look for potential problems that may occur because of ones' actions.

In the end it's a crap shoot but mostly I don't want my kids to think it is normal to be monitored and controlled their whole lives. They should be free. They should expect privacy that they wish but understand that their actions are their mark in the world.

We do things as a family as much as possible. Daily meals, time together doing things.

Down from soapbox....

what ages? Your guys are pretty young right? Time flies...

[Stike]

I give them email addresses from my provider and give them passwords that I know and I have their email accounts download to my computer. I setup their Facebook accounts so that they have the highest possible level of privacy which with face book gets less and less. Some sites I don't allow them to have accounts on. I can remotely access or control their computer at any time if I wish.

That said I don't follow their every move. Kids need to learn to break free and be themselves. They need to learn to control their own boundaries. I try to increase their level of freedom as they grow older. I talk to them to remind them that I am always able to watch and see but I also don't make them feel as if I am watching their every move.

Stepping outside of boundaries is part of growing up. They have to learn to control themselves. I don't want to give them enough rope to hang themselves but just enough to pull themselves backup if they stumble.

It's a tightrope. I want them to make small enough mistakes to learn but not make such large mistakes that they suffer from them for a lifetime.

I spend the time teaching and showing them how to protect themselves and to know that boundaries have to be recognized and to look for potential problems that may occur because of ones' actions.

In the end it's a crap shoot but mostly I don't want my kids to think it is normal to be monitored and controlled their whole lives. They should be free. They should expect privacy that they wish but understand that their actions are their mark in the world.

We do things as a family as much as possible. Daily meals, time together doing things.

Down from soapbox....

what ages? Your guys are pretty young right? Time flies...

That's kind of what I'm going after. I also try to make sure we do things together. With the exception of team practices/scouts every night is TV off and eat dinner together.

Mine are 11 and 12, 13 in June.

[BlueRedWhite]

Mathman says it best. This is what my sister did also (11 yo twins)

Nothing beats good ol communication, the twins have always commented everything with their mom. It's a great help.

The girls are not on facebook or any adult social network. We believe that no children up to 16-18 should be there.

There are children networks, but the girls prefer talking to their friends directly through facetime.

[m chops]

Every once in a while, I'd check the browser history. My brilliant son was never smart enough to clear the history in the browser of the computer he used. I never found anything too far out of line, but didn't feel bad on checking every so often.

[Feynman]

I want to make sure that there is no way my children can monitor my online activity.

[Studio Custom]

It was easier a decade ago when you could put the computer in the family room corner. Now everything is wireless. It is scary that predators have a way into your home as easily as logging on.

[a.bandini]

Don't feel badly for a minute for watching your kids' internet activity LIKE A HAWK.

Be aggressive.

Protect your kids.

In that respect, the INTERNET IS NOT YOUR FRIEND.

Please take this from me, as a hard truth, guys. I, unfortunately, know.

[Ting Ho Dung]

I can't comment publicly. But PM me for details. Anyone with teens should PM me for teen suicide prevention. While you are primarily thinking of keeping your children safe from predators and internet porn, there is much, much more you should be aware of and do.

[Ranger]

Kids. One good thing is you are not responsible for incarceration costs after they reach 18. Sigh...

Watch them close, guide them well, hope for the best.

[murkat]

action

not

reaction

Pro active

not

Re active

communicate

not

retaliate

Mathman said well.

[Bobby Marshall]

I contacted Thorn and appreciated him sharing his experiences. Anyone serious about the topic should contact him.

Thanks again Thorn.

[marcnorth]

If you reall want to know what they're up to you can install something like this program in the link. I never used this stuff myself but did install it on a buddies computer for him when he was having problems with his 12 year old and her girl friends who were feuding and sending inappropriate emails to each other talking about them having sex with their dads and shit like that. I could just imagine some other parent seeing this kind of stuff and reporting it to the cops and them trying to railroad some unlucky guy who didn't do anything.

It worked for him, he said he would just mention some of the things she wrote and she would be shocked that he knew. The results were she quit being involved in the feuding and knew she should watch what she was doing on the net because "big brother is watching you".

They'll never know it's on there unless you tell them.

http://www.award-soft.com/content/view/358/

[Jakeboy]

It is almost funny that a bunch of rock and rollers who were probably anti-establishment in their youth and broke nearly every boundary given them (I unfortunately, really wasn't given any...and I realize I speak for no one but myself), are discussing how to monitor their kids online activity. Somewhat ironic.

Also needful. Much good advice given here. When my girls we growing up we were hyper protective when it came to stuff like this.

The most valuable thing we have in our lives is our kids. Guard protect love and talk to them. Enjoy them.

They grow up too fast. Especially in today's world.

That makes me sound old, but it is soooooo true.