For Sale and Auction Truisms

[DavidE]

1) If the seller says his or her price is cheap, it isn't.

2) If the seller says s/he's honest, s/he isn't.

3) If the photos are blurry or they're small, they're hiding something.

4)

[Hackubus]

4) Rare!!!! = baloney

5) One of a kind!!! = baloney

6) MINT! = far from it

[Steve Haynie]

7) Free shipping means your package will NOT be insured.

[MCChris]

Here's a LIFE truism that may apply here:

When someone starts with "True story" or "I swear to God this is true," you can be assured that everything that follows will be bullshit.

[Guest pirateflynn]

7) Free shipping means your package will NOT be insured.

LOL

Here's a LIFE truism that may apply here:

When someone starts with "True story" or "I swear to God this is true," you can be assured that everything that follows will be bullshit.

Is this a personal knock? I swear the TW story is true!

[hamertek98]

Check out my positive feedback.......

Look how many people I've screwed.

[kizanski]

Mint and pristine!!

[licksville]

Remember the classic used-car dealer cliche "...was only driven by a little old lady to and from church every Sunday" ? I can't help but think of that whenever I read a description that describes a guitar as being used primarily for a praise band or similar in church. Mind you, I don't make any assumptions good or bad about the person or the guitar because of the description but I sometimes wonder if a small percentage of those folks might be trying to elicit more confidence in their potential buyers by including that in the description.

[Devnor]

"I've had X number of this particular model and this one plays/sounds the best"

[cmatthes]

My little old grandmother actually bought a GTO brand new off the lot in '69 when my grandfather died. She truly only drove it once or twice a week for almost 20 years - to the store, to church and to her garden club meetings. She did take it on one long trip - when she moved from NJ to SC. That was one way. She was the living used-car cliche!

Other auction favorites of mine:

+1,000 on Devnor's above - if it is the best of all the ones you have, why are you selling THAT ONE?!?!

"I don't know much about guitars, but this one seems to work"

"I'm selling for a friend who doesn't have a computer"

Also - my favorite is when a seller (male) pretends to be female, as in his wife, gf, etc. when selling gear. Why is it that there is an assumption that the 95% male guitar buying market is going to be instantly smitten by a nameless, faceless internet vixen and somehow be more forgiving when a box of crap shows up at their door?

To quote Elduave...PLEASE!

[crunchee]

'This guitar is MINT! except for...'

One I've seen on Gbase:

'Vintage Excellent'

[cordroad]

How about "it's never left my smoke free home" or words to that effect?

[kizanski]

'Vintage Excellent'

Oh wow....that's a good one!

[crunchee]

How about 'it'll only increase in value' (um, so why are they selling it?). Reminds me of the Bjorn Borg Swedish Pancake skillet episode of 'Home Improvement'.

[jerseydrew]

8) I'm selling this for a friend.

9) It's totally original, except.......

[gwayne]

"I played every (insert guitar here) in the store and this was by far the best".

[SirDouglas]

I agree with the selling it for a friend...

also add I know nothing about guitars(

except the fact my add shows intricacies that only a guitar player would know and that im selling 15 other guitars for this same said friend)

Randy

[Steve Haynie]

10) "Set up by expert luthier '_____________________________' here in '________________________'" really means that the intonation was set some time in the last year, but it does not mean that it will suit the buyer's preferences or climate.

[Craig S]

graded "excellent" by Elderly

sorry in bad taste... but not an uncommon kind of statement.

[serial]

4) Rare!!!! = baloney

5) One of a kind!!! = baloney

6) MINT! = far from it

Well, I'm selling two guitars right now and one IS "one of a kind" and the other is one of two (maybe three) that I'm aware of, so I called that one "rare"...

It does irritate me to see the "one of a kind"/"one-off" comments applied as liberally as they usually are. Any day of the week, you can find a dozen or more standard production Fenders (import or US) or Epiphones using those terms. OK, it might be one of a kind because it was the only guitar that used THAT particular piece of wood or that particular few ounces of paint, but come on!

At least in the "rare" cases when I use those terms, I have looked at the factory records or done some research...

"Mint for it's age" is another one that I love!

[serial]

"A true relic"=abused for years by the Samsonite gorilla and now barely held together with bird feces and spit.

"Vintage"=anything older than yesterday. Especially when it's an import mass produced POS.

[cmatthes]

I also dislike the ones that lay out exactly how much they've put into it (since scoring it on eBay recently for a few hundred less than the current listing). You know, stuff like: "Completely disassembled, cleaned, polished, reassembled, then had <insert name of local luthier or tech here> do a complete setup and put on a new set of <insert string brand here>...Put an additional $400 into the guitar getting this done."

Not valid in my book - 99% of the people who buy something used get the instrument set up, tweaked, change pickups, whatever. Not something most people view as a legitimate add to value. If you are simply looking to flip something at a profit (which is your right), cut the BS. I DON'T CARE!

[PastorPaul]

"... plays like butter."

Gross.

[Craig S]

The one I hate the most is "Lawsuit model" . They don't even know what this is about. For most if it's shaped like a Gibson or Fender and built in the 70's or early 80's they think they have a licence to use that term. It's like they think they can trick you into believing you're getting something much better than the original..

[serial]

The one I hate the most is "Lawsuit model" . They don't even know what this is about. For most if it's shaped like a Gibson or Fender and built in the 70's or early 80's they think they have a licence to use that term. It's like they think they can trick you into believing you're getting something much better than the original..

This bugs the crap out of me too. "Pre" and "Post-lawsuit" also. C'mon. There was ONE suit filed in 1978 that never went anywhere (Norlin v. Elger Corp, the US Distributor for Ibanez-E.D PA Court). Ibanez voluntarily changed the headstocks before the suit was actually timestamped, so it was pretty much a non-starter. I've heard many rumors about Fernandes guitars being seized at Customs upon entry and having headstocks cut off for violating Fender registered marks, but I've never seen anything to back this up either.