Torrential Rains Swamp Twin Cities Rock Club

[BruceM]

Stunned Patrons Lament the Possible Loss of the 4-3-2-1 Club

Monsoon-like rains stormed across the Twin Cities metropolitan area yesterday, dumping 5 inches of rain in just a few hours, flooding low lying areas and snarling traffic. Weary residents today began the monumental task of getting to work.

But perhaps the greatest threat of yesterday’s flooding is the potential loss of a venerable Minneapolis nightclub, the 4-3-2-1 Club.

The 4-3-2-1 Club, shown above in happier and drier times, was once a warm and welcoming den of iniquity for all the weary and harassed patrons of the HFC Message Board who entered. It has now been reduced to the damp and smelly basement that it really is. Hairline fractures in the basement floor appear to be the cause of last night’s nightmarish scene, as the unrelenting waters seeped quietly and steadily into the dark room.

Cleanup is underway, and is expected to take hours, if not days. The Enqueerer asked nightclub owner BruceM to comment. “This is one of my worst nightmares,” lamented Bruce. “The only thing that could possibly top this disaster is if my corroded water pipe bursts before I get IT fixed. I knew this day would come, but I was not prepared for the back-breaking cleanup work. The only thing that saved me was my trusty little shop-vac and my vigilence. Upon returning home from Famous Volcanoes practice in the wee hours, I slunk down the stairs to the Club. My horror knew no bounds as I spied water in all corners of the room, slowly soaking the hallowed 4-3-2-1 Club musicians carpet. WORK, REAL, BACKBREAKING WORK! I immediately began the roady job of carting amps, drums and whatever else I could carry upstairs, whipped out the shop-vac, and started sucking up water. Because the water kept seeping in as quickly as I could vac it up, I was literally up all night.”

These photographss show some of the carnage. Industrial strength fans blow across the damp floor and soaked, elevated carpet, as blowup music notes mixed with Xmas lights hang askew from the oft-photographed ceiling of the 4-3-2-1 Club.

A gaggle of empty swirlygigs, hanging in the midst of a jumbled pile of rock and roll equipment in the middle of the room, evokes equal feelings of emptiness in this reporter.

Posing in front of the now-famous 4-3-2-1 Club Bulletin Board, BruceM points disconsolately at the flapping poster of Matthew Sweet. When asked to comment on the probable cause of this disaster, Bruce stated cryptically, “The answer, my friend, is blowin’ in the wind. The answer is blowin’ in the wind.” When questioned further about the vagueness of his answer, Bruce offered this explanation, “The radical right wing will tell you that the recent floods are the result of my inability to sustain a meaningful same-sex relationship, all the while clamoring incessantly for the God-given benefits of heterosexual marriage. The uber-liberal left wing will tell you that the recent floods are God’s way of expressing displeasure and getting back at us for re-electing W. I think the answer is somewhere in between. Perhaps it’s the constant harping, bickering, sniping, caterwauling, scrapping and quarreling on the main message board of the Hamer Fan Club. I know this behavior results in endless dissension, controversy, protestation, lamentation, contention, vendettas, attacks, run-ins and clashes on the main board, and now apparently has resulted in the flooding of the 4-3-2-1 Club. I firmly believe that this type of behavior belongs only in The Outer Circle, and you should have to pay to be treated like that. Innocents do not deserve to be subjected to such rudeness, unless of course they want to, in which case they can pay. It’s all about money.”

“The 4-3-2-1 Club will return,” Bruce commented optimistically. “Hopefully in time for the November jam. I owe it to the regulars, and the increasing hordes of pilgrims, to keep this nightclub afloat. Ummm, let me rephrase that.”

BruceM’s resolve is apparent as he slogs through the mess that is the 4-3-2-1 Club. When asked for final thoughts on the disaster, he declared, “At least I didn’t have my Bob Mould posters down there. I don’t know what I would have done if I had lost my Bob Mould posters! The 4-3-2-1 Club will rise from the ashes, ummm, er, whatever, and it will smell better than ever! Long live the 4-3-2-1 Club!”

[kizanski]

Hold on to that sense of humor, Bruce.

(...and keep the gear off of the floor).

[cmatthes]

Even as "The Onion" seizes this story, I shed a big ol' salty tear for the (temporary!) wave of inconsideration that ran through the one major rock club I have yet to see in person!

Keep that toxic mold at bay, my friend!!

[tombo]

Sometimes good comes from misfortune.

I nominate this post by Bruce as "one of the best ever" on the HFC. It was interesting and I know you put a lot of effort into it.

The 4-3-2-1 Club will come back better than before. I only wish I could attend again (so I can eat all of your nachos and look at the John Mayer cover GP mag in your front room with with Badger Dave - I really did look at that mag for a while last year in your front room. but BD was absent!).

Hope the Dr. Z's survived OK!

[tafkathundernotes]

That's what you get for building a basement below ground level.

If you have the headroom, a slightly elevated floor works wonders for these nuisance floodings. Also, make sure you have an adequate and functioning gutter system on the house. Cement block walls leak when the water outside hits the footing. As you may have guessed, I had to quickly "evacuate" stranded musical equipment a time or two.

[sirDaniel]

OMG!!!

I saw it on the radar, it never quite got to Rochester, just kept hovering over you.

What can we DO?????

During this crisis, I have to be serious, but the story was funny. You have a literary gift.

[tomteriffic]

Hopefully the governor won't dither over declaring the club a distaster area, thus making it eligible for federal relief funding, not to mention emergency shipments of hair dryers, bath towels slo-blo fuses and sump pumps, most of which are scheduled to arrive by August of 2012.

The Red Cross and the Rock And Roll Hall of Fame have announced a relief fund drive, the proceeds of which will be used to construct a replica of the 4-3-2-1 in the downtown Twin Cities as a tourist attraction and aid distribution point.

Seriously, Bruce, a great bit of writing in the face of all this, and so sorry to hear about the freak flood. I had my studio, record collection and a couple of guitars wiped out by a similar freak occurrence some years back and I know it's no fun and a lot of work to get things back into shape.

[elduave]

Do you have homeowners insurance? Call them NOW! Get ServPro out there. They do really good work...

[bobbymack]

Bad mess but funny post...

Chin up man!

[BruceM]

It really wasn't too bad this time, since I caught it as it happened. This is about the 3rd time in 17 years I've seen this happen in my house, and it's why I own a shop-vac. The water was leaking in at a rate of about 10 gallons per half hour, and the shop vac could keep up with that. Luckily, it had stopped raining by 2 AM, so I was able to get to bed by 6:30. Anyone's who has been here knows that all my equipment is set up off the floor on sturdy tables. There's a reason for that. So no, no real damage of any kind. Just a hassle to move all that stuff and get the carpet remnant dry asap. The show must go on!

I did drive through the rain on the way to band practice, though, and it was bad. The funniest sight was the Red Wing Shoe Store owner standing in his shop doorway with a snow shovel trying to fend off the rising waters from the flooded intersection in front of him. Stop a flood with a snow shovel? Only in MN.

[lonote049]

Wow! I'm sorry to hear about the damage but I'm glad to hear it was nothing too serious. I have a friend in Inver Grove Heights who came this -><- close to losing everything and a coworker who suffered thousands in damage. It was a hell of a storm, no doubt.

[MCChris]

Water? Not good. Smelly? That's rock 'n' roll!

Hope you didn't lose any gear. The 4-3-2-1 Club shall return, as will I!

[tbabinec]

BruceM

Sounds like you lost a night's sleep but not your gear. Yeh,

I learned more than I ever wanted to about sump pumps in

my basement, and try to keep gear raised off the floor. Hope

things dry out quickly - the quicker the better!

[ctrixie]

I feel for ya, buddy. We've had that "AHHHHH water coming in! Get the gear off the floor!!!" experience. We will just have to rock out so hard on Nov 12th that enough heat is generated to dry out Minneapolis.

[pesocaster]

AH... that sucks!

Living in the PAC NW I have learned a thing or two about rain.... the hard way of course... ha ha ha (transplant from Denver)....

2 things you can do to prevent this from happening again....

After everything is good and dry...

Seal the concrete (plenty of products at Home Depot) ... and be sure to calk all of the cracks....

another thing is to dig up and install a "skirt Drain" around the foundation at ground level....

To prevent mold... use a Bleach and water solution and spray EVERYWHERE water was... it'll smell like hell ... but mold is a nasty thing.... A good dehumidifier will also help...

Good luck in the renovation!!!

Brilliant post btw..... equal amounts of laughs and winces of pain for ya....

[serial]

Bruce:

My thoughts are with you and the 4321. Rock on and stay strong.

[JES1680]

Sorry to hear Bruce, but great story. I'm also drying out. A couple cabs got a little wet on the bottom here. I fignred in a new house I wouldn't have to worry NOT!

I did have the foresite to get my guitars up off the floor in the basement. That would have been costly!

Hmmm lets tally up. This week.

Crashed a Motorcycle

Had sinus surgery

Flooded basement.

Thank GOD for Percoset!

[Jones]

I'll notify FEMA.

[MCChris]

I'll notify FEMA.

"You're doing a helluva job, Brucie."

[Stevieconlon]

I'm gonna organize a benefit show--but we're gonna give the money to Amer Red Cross!

[HAMERMAN]

Bruce,

Great to see you keeping a sense of humor about it. I can appreciate how much work goes in to cleanup - I have had my basement flood two different times.

1) After a deal was reached on a new house but before the official closing. Thankfully the previous owners were nice enough to let us start moving boxes into the basement ahead of time so that besides thinking we bought a lemon we also had a lot of stuff ruined. :-(

Marginal drainage was the cause although it was a bit of a freak problem since it was very heavy rain that melted a lot of snow.

After improving the drainage so that would never happen again we got hit by number two a few years later.

2) Bad float switch in washer machine prevented washer machine from ever knowing it was full in the first rinse cycle so it kept (over) filling for several hours! Me or my wife would have noticed much quicker than that but we were out for the evening and my sister in law who was living with us at the time threw a load in and didn't go back downstairs to put it in the dryer for a couple of hours.

[Eric Weston]

Great post, lol. Sorry to hear about the 4321 lower level, thankfully, I can't see any pics of the carnage. We're still drying out here too, no real damage, if ya need an extra dehumidifier- give me a call.

There's an outside chance that I could make it to the last jam on the 12th....dealing with my relatives gets harder and harder on my liver each year, lol. I'm a decent shot too so if I see anything on the opener wknd, I'm pretty much done....ooh yeah- almost forgot... GET A JOB....YA BUM!!

[tomteriffic]

You're in luck, Bruce

Due to my job, I have a connection or two at FEMA. I was informed of the following:

An emergency shipment of freeze-dried carpet remnants has been authorized and will leave a cold-storage warehouse in Bangor ME as soon as possible. They will be initially airlifted to an Air Force Base in Kansas. From there, they will be forwarded to their destination by truck via Bellingham WA, Kernersville NC, Port Arthur TX, Grand Island Nebraska, Berger MO, Coeur d'Alene ID, Frog Level VA, Crested Butte CO, Ponca City OK, and thence to a warehouse in Kodiak Alaska.

They will be held there indefinitely because:

A) The driver can't find the 4321

B ) FEMA got a better offer from Tim Hogan's Dalton GA Carpet Outlet

C) Dubya found out yer a dang homaseckshul and besides, the carpet remnant was made with Iranian oil. So he kaboshed it.

Sorry, it's Friday, I've been writing serious stuff all week, and I couldn't help myself

[robbie]

+1 on the dehumidifier Bruce. Or whatever you may need. I can also help you put everything back... maybe if it is dry by Tuesday we do that instead of FV... then of course we would need to test everything out, make sure it all works!! : )

Let me know!!

Great post by the way!!

Robb

[cswilder]

Sorry for the flooding, but thanks for the post. Was that a Freedy Johnston poster next to the Matthew Sweet? We used to cover Bad Reputaion in my last band, and I'm a big fan of his.

Chris