IBS: Ed Rechts

[kizanski]

“I hope I can make it to then,” he said to me.

He was referring to his birthday.
Not to be an alarmist or anything, but that’s only 4 days from now.

James “Jay” Toland, AKA: Ed Rechts is dying of Stage 4 cancer, but his thoughts are with his virtual family. A family from which he has been expelled.
Don’t get me wrong – he earned it. He earned it several times as a matter of fact, during his tenure on the HFC, but we’ve come to accept that as part of his charm.

“If I go, write a good tribute to me on the HFC, will you? I would love the guys to laugh again.”

I’ve been asked to do similar tributes before.
When my friend, Dave, one of my closest friends since high school, attended my brother’s memorial service and was touched by my eulogy, he took me aside afterwards and asked me, “When I die, will you give my eulogy?”

At first, I thought it was one of his typical expressions of dark humor, but when I half chuckled, I noticed that he wasn't. 
Dave is a Firefighter, so this eulogy could come at any time. As luck would have it, that was 13 years ago. Hopefully, I won’t have to put any (more) thought to it for another 20 or 30 years, but suffice it to say it is something that I take very seriously. Probably more so than anything in my life.

So, when Rechts asked that of me, he may have been just expecting I post a few of our old Photoshopped images that we traded back and forth, playfully busting each other’s virtual balls.
But this is a lot more personal to me.

This is literally a dying man’s last wishes. That this would be entrusted to me is nothing to treat lightly.

JeffR broke the news to me several weeks ago of Rechts’ terminal disease, but in the periodic chats I had with Rechts since then, I didn’t let on that I knew.  It’s his story to tell and he would tell me when he was ready.

Yesterday was the day.

He told me that he’s in a great deal of pain, but he’s keeping himself “semi-jacked on opiates.”
“I sure would be,” I said, “And not ‘semi’.”

“I'm doing all I can to manage this body pain,” he said. “My guts feel like they are eating itself. I can feel it.”

We’ve all read tributes. Threads about someone we all knew having passed away, and all of the outpouring of affection that follows. We feel terrible and we say what we feel in our hearts, especially if we knew them well or for a long time.

What I would have really loved back in June of 2012 was for my brother to hear that eulogy and all of the love that everyone in attendance relayed to me about him.

This is why I’m writing Rechts’ tribute Now. 

Now, when he can still read it. (Rest assured, he still visits the HFC daily).

I have a lot to say about Jay, but I will attempt to edit myself (somewhat) out of consideration for the reader. Otherwise, I could go on for hours.

In one of our earliest conversations, Jay and I were talking about our screen names and, as a big Top Gun fan, he knew exactly from where mine came. “GET ON IT, KIZANSKI!’ he texted in CAPS.

But where did “Ed Rechts” come from? I had to know.

Jay is a brilliant, well-read man, so he offered, “Do you know your Sophocles?”
“Huh?” I responded, (the obvious reply of someone not well-read).
“Oedipus Rex!” he shouted. “The original motherfucker!”

If there was ever a perfect screen name; brilliant, funny, clever, and, well, accurate.

Over the years, Jay and I would talk on the phone, email, text, etc., but I never met him in person.  Funny how you can feel close to someone you’ve never technically met.

But in the closeness, there was a distance as well.
Months would go by without a word from him, but then you’ll hear from him and it’s as if you spoke yesterday, and you’re back to poking fun of this or that situation.
No time had passed after all.

Back in the glory days of the HFC, often likened to the wild west, Rechts reigned supreme.

That’s not hyperbole.
His posts were that of legend, ranging from biting wit to elegant prose, always making his point, be it sophomoric or a genuine response to someone requesting information.
He once even wrote a lengthy post (about what I can’t remember) in the voice of a character from the Victorian era. It was both brilliant and twisted.

He could obviously trade barbs with anyone, but the last thing you wanted to do was get in his crosshairs. There was no worse fate for someone that had motivated him to fire up his Adobe Photoshop.
In fact I happen to know that there were times when he found himself without a working install of Photoshop, so he would slay someone with Microsoft Paint.

When you’ve been parodied by someone with MS Paint, you really got on their bad side.

Right now, many of you HFC OGs like myself are thinking of an unfortunate former HFC-er who went by “AnDy” (and who Rechts dubbed “pAnZy”).
And you’d be right.
When epic battles (and eventual beatdowns) are discussed, this was the blueprint. This was example to which all other would be compared.

To this day, he’s still proud of it, and I don’t blame him.

So, there are tons of Photoshopped images of and by Rechts in my archives.
Some of them are of me in compromising situations, and I did my best to retaliate – all in good fun – but I knew going in that I was overmatched and outgunned.
The whole while I was laughing at him and at myself.

At the heart of it he was an inspiration to me learning, not only how to create some silly memes and images with someone’s likeness, but how to laugh at myself.
It would be a crime if he left us without knowing that.

I’ll post a few of these images and I’ll provide some context where I can when it’s not obvious.

Many of you have some, too.  Please post them.

He should laugh too.

 

Jay's not Photoshopped favorite picture of himself from BITD.

 

After we chatted for a while, he said that he was tired and he needed to lie down.
"I'm kinda resigned to this. Unless there's a miracle."

I guess we have this to look forward to come Christmas time.

He made that one - not me!

Humor never dies.

 

[ArnieZ]

Really sad to read this. As one who had the pleasure of reading his posts, they were creative, bting and hilarous. I really had no personal interaction with him except for one instance. I was trying to get a visual of my Artist Ultimate with Victory inlays. He graciously used his skills and provided the mock up. He did this voluntarily, did not feel I could knew him well enough to ask directly. I have missed him since his departure, occasonally bumped into him on the defunct Hamer Museum page. Hard to believe this Force of energy is about to expire🤨

arniez

[Kerry Marchman]

I'm very sad to see this. I was more of a lurker way back in the beginning of the HFC, but I remember Ed's (Jay's) posts very well. They made me laugh many times. 

All I can say is God Speed, Jay. I hope The future holds great guitars and amps for you and peace for your loved ones.

 

And, thanks for the fine message, Kiz.

[kizanski]

He once put together a website.

That was the landing page.
That was the whole site, actually.

 

Rechts and Joe were often at odds.
So, of course, I P-shopped them together.

 

Ed Rechts' Hamer ad:

 

[RobB]

This news sucks ass.

His prosaic eviscerations of Nightwolf, Joe and Pansy were godhead. What a mind!

I have a handful of PM conversations with Jay. We lived parallel lives in the 80s, it seems. LA in the early 80s (he prolly checked my ID at The Strand in Redondo Beach). Bay Area in the late 80s (apparently we lived practically around the corner from each other in the Berkeley hills). I’m sure we passed by each other 100 times, like shaggy ships in the night. Weird how life is sometimes. 
 

 

Edited June 15 by RobB

[MCChris]

The Wild West indeed. When I first happened across this place around 1999 and observed the shots that were being fired, most of them by Jay, I knew I had found my tribe.

Pro tip to ER: whoever you see first on the other side, hold off on mocking their first name with an alternating-caps version that calls their sexuality into question...at least until you're able to assess how miserable they can make the afterlife for you.

[Jeff R]

[hamerhead]

Dammit. He's made more coffee come out my nose than any other entity on the planet. The early days were brutally funny. He also sent me to Google or Webster's more times than I care to admit to figure out what the hell he was on about. 

Jay - you've been missed here for a long time. I hope you find some relief somehow, somewhere. You are in my thoughts. You are one funny, warped, twisted motherfucker and you brought a buttload of laughter to those of us fortunate enough to have experienced it. Thank you.

[DaveL]

39 minutes ago, RobB said:

This news sucks ass.

His prosaic eviscerations of Nightwolf, Joe and Pansy were godhead. What a mind!

I have a handful of PM conversations with Jay. We lived parallel lives in the 80s, it seems. LA in the early 80s (he prolly checked my ID at The Strand in Redondo Beach). Bay Area in the late 80s (apparently we lived practically around the corner from each other in the Berkeley hills). I’m sure we passed by each other 100 times, like shaggy ships in the night. Weird how life is sometimes. 
 

 

 

I didn’t know him but I greatly enjoyed talking on the board with him about the LA scene (especially the Guns N Roses wardrobe switch from dolled up tarts to dirty biker chic just before appetite came out, skillfully avoiding the future wrath of Beavis and butthead)  

     He was funny as fuck and comically… on another level… kiz is pretty funny too but I digress…

   I always looked forward to his posts and sorry that he’s going thru this.    

[Dave Scepter]

Geez, such terrible news~🙏

[kizanski]

The file name on this one is "KIZwaxesSpidey.jpg"

[kizanski]

@ToneJunkee, @Mobster and @Rechts at NAMM a very long time ago.

 

The hair flip.  No one made connections like Ed Rechts.

 

 

[Biz Prof]

I had no idea what Jay's real name was until today. Hell, I knew Ed Rechts was a nom de plume, but if I'd known his actual name, I'd have accepted his "Bookface" friend request ages ago <Doh!>.  We had some truly rich and entertaining convos via this site (they now show him as "Deleted Member"). I'm re-reading them now with fondness and a laugh.

Cancer is a brutal, equal opportunity killer. I fucking hate it. To know that it sucks the life out of humans as clever, witty, and irreverent as Jay makes it worse. Cheers to the Ron Swanson of the HFC. Or perhaps Ron was the Ed Rechts of Parks & Recreation.

Edited June 15 by Biz Prof

[kizanski]

There's just too much to explain here.

 

@Jeff R serenades those in attendance for the Oswald prison transfer.

 

[specialk]

Jay: I didn’t start lurking here till 2006, so I missed most of the posts Kiz mentioned. I do know you are held in high regard here by people I admire/trust, so that was always good enough for me when I came across one of your posts. Here’s hoping for a miracle to come your way.

Kiz: Beautiful post, sir. Thank you for explaining Jay’s nom de guerre here. I sure didn’t figure that one out.

[django49]

I am another late joiner, so I guess I missed the glory days. Good to learn a bit more, even if in a bad news section. 

Interesting to see the picture with another former member, Mobster. Coincidentally, I just got out a very high end guitar I bought from him long ago. Funny how things pop up.....Had an offer and decided to spend a bit more time with it. Nope, def not for sale. Impossible to replace. Like some people.

Anyway, here is to hope for a few memories and smiles amidst the trials. 

[kizanski]

[kizanski]

[DaveH]

37 minutes ago, kizanski said:

Guilty! 😂

The early times *were* great! This news saddens me greatly.

"Deserved" or not, I hated it when he was put on exile. I always looked forward to Jay's posts, sometimes they would be the highlight of my day... If he happened to like or quote one of my posts, I felt like I had accomplished something. 🙂

Is anyone in contact with Turdus? He's probably aware, he and Ed (Jay) I think were/are pretty tight.

Ed/Jay, if you see this, Godspeed brother. Just know that you were the source of MANY laughs and screen-cleanings! Prayers are with you.

[mrjamiam]

News I hate to read.  I'm way too much of a newcomer to fully appreciate the OG days - looking back, it kind of seems like a place where the smoke was clearing from some major fracas when it turned up as I was researching a recent guitar purchase and decided to start following the current threads rather than just the posts that Google presented to me.  I knew I had missed out on some shit, and I also knew that there were some tight bonds among the folks here.

Nicely done, Kizanski.

And Ed/Jay, know that you have made a mark on this world, and that's not something the great majority do.  Go in peace.

Edited June 16 by mrjamiam
incomplete sent

[mathman]

I was a lurker to the very early board and finally joined in around 2004.  I always enjoyed what the board was.  I tossed in a few photoshops here and there but I was limited in the base knowledge from the earliest versions of the HFC.  I knew some but not all. but I was an outsider in the south far away from the hub of activity as it were.  Ed was a master in my opinion.  There are others from that time I truly appreciated their wit and knowledge and fuck you ability.  Matt B gave an epic example of a response to a Waterloo speech.  I did join the "other board" for a while.   I do understand why the HFC tightened the rules.  Other boards at that time also started too.  We all try to mature...   or manure. 

Any way Ed.  your posts were fucking legendary. and perfect for the time.  Your time on our sphere was special and appreciated.

[mathman]

Also,  perfection... Kizanski

 

[BTMN]

Terrible news to hear. Had more than a few good laughs thanks to you sir. Comfort and a surrounding of good love as you exit this plane. 💔❤️‍🩹❤️

Edited June 16 by BTMN

[Steve Haynie]

I was gone all day, then I check in and read this.  

Rechts definitely was never forgotten around here.  He never will be, either.

[Biz Prof]

Just communicated with Jay via "Bookface".  I've lost both my parents the last six months, so I'm numb to grief at this point...but this type of thing hits you square in the chest. If he had lived local to me, we absolutely would be close friends and would give each other shit on a daily basis.

I told him when the time comes to (like a Pirate) give no quarter and accept no quarter.